Updated: Mar 21
If you are reading this blog, chances are, you suffer from an overactive mind and want to take charge of your thoughts. I can offer you tips and strategies to train your mind to feel calm .
First, the secret to a calm mind is knowing why you don’t have one in the first place.
As a health coach, I strive to empower women to manage stress through fitness, nutrition, mindfulness, and sleep. I want to help you feel empowered and confident to handle whatever comes your way.
All points are beneficial, so keep reading as I walk you through three steps to calm a busy mind.
Table of Contents
Step 1: Find out the root cause of your unsettled mind.
Below are five life areas that might be causing your overwhelm. Take some time and reflect on yourself. Determine if these aspects of your life or others are causing you stress and anxiety.
1. Daily Stress.
Stress can take control of your mind, your body, and your behavior if you let it. You know how much simpler your days can be if you take time to calm your busy mind, even just for a minute.
Everyday events, like someone cutting you off, or spilling your coffee become difficult while under stress.
Things that you would be able to handle with ease sometimes overwhelm you. To the point where you find it challenging to deal with them.
You cannot reason or decide what is best for you when this occurs. You may make poor decisions as a result, which causes you to stress yourself out even.
2. Life Choices.
Do you have life choices that you are playing back over and over? Remember you learn more from making mistakes then you do successes.
And if your previous life choices still affect you, remember that it is in the past, what did you learn from it? Stressing over things you can't control will only lead to more stress, instead focus on what you can control.
The good news is, it's always possible to change your life. You can start right now by changing your mindset.
One of the most important things to remember when trying to change something in your life is that making mistakes is a part of the growing process.
Don't stress over things that happened and can't be changed anymore. Focus on what is happening here and now. And so that tomorrow you'll be one step closer to a better you!
3. Your Stuff.
We are all familiar with the feeling of being overwhelmed by things in our everyday lives.
Your inbox with too many unread messages.
You clutter your mobile phones and computers with unnecessary apps.
You have closets that are full of clothes you never wear.
Your to-do list keeps piling up with unfinished tasks.
With this clutter, you might not realize it, but it can increase your stress levels.
A booming trend for people who want to lessen the stress in their lives is to practice minimalism. It is intentional living that supports their purpose and passion by removing excess possessions.
I am not suggesting you be one yourself (unless you want to!). But instead, look at your stuff and understand why it is there and to quote Marie Kondo " does it bring you joy" so you can decide whether it should stay or find a new home.
4. Past Experiences.
Past experiences can be good or bad. I bet when you read this headline you immediately thought of a negative experience. This is called the negative basis and our brains are wired to focus on the bad as a safety mechanism from our ancestors.
It was safer for our ancestors to be hyper focused on potential danger and remembering experiences that kept them safe so how does that translate to today?
We also tend to remember or pick up on the negative first as our brains haven't evolved much to combat this, but you can by retraining yourself to think about positive experiences, positive emotions and postive/ affirming words.
Aiming for a ratio two to one. For every one negative thought aim to think 2 postive ones.
5. Poor Relationships.
Do you notice that you get irritated when you see a person you dislike? Especially if there is tension between you two, making you stay on alert mode and ready for a confrontation at any moment.
You might not realize it, but your mind is staying in a constant state of reactivity and stress. It is important to put up boundaries to help protect your energy and mindset.
Pursuing healthy and energy giving relationships will help you crowd out negative ones.
Step 2: Why do you want a calmer mind?
Now that you understand what hinders you from calming down your thoughts, you must think through why you wanted a calmer mind.
What is your goal? Take time and reflect on why you want to have a calmer mind and the changes you want to make.
Understanding your why will help motive you to keep going while creating a list of benefits will help kick start your journey.
Think about it:
You'll be able to think more clearly, which will help you make better decisions and stay focused on what's important.
You'll be able to focus better on tasks at work or at home, which means less time wasted on things that aren't important (like worrying about things that haven't happened yet).
You won't have as many negative thoughts about yourself or others because you will focus your mind on positive things instead!
Step 3: How to train your mind feel calm?
Life is a crazy and chaotic adventure, so having strategies to support your mindset to keep calm even when things don't go according to your plans is important.
Here are four questions that can help:
After answering those questions, sit back and think about what you have learned. You may find that some of your fears are unfounded.
This exercise can help you realize which areas of your life need attention and help you come up with solutions for dealing with them in a positive way!
Here are some effective ways to train your mind to feel calm:
1. Start with meditation.
Meditation is the perfect way to train your mind and create a healthy foundation. When you take the time to meditate each day, you are teaching your mind how to be calm in any situation.
While meditation may seem intimidating, It is effective because it can help improve your physical health and mental state of mind. It allows you to have more energy, focus, and clarity.
If you haven’t tried meditation before, just like any new skill, the more you practice it, the better you get!
Here are some tips for getting started:
Set aside 10 minutes each day.
Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed (this may be inside or outside).
Sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair with your back straight and feet flat on the ground.
2. Write down what bothers you.
One thing I have found helpful is writing down my thoughts. Writing down your fears and problems helps you think about them objectively and therefore see them for what they are. You may find your fear doesn't look so big on paper.
3. Identify your life values.
Values are something you believe. It’s your guiding compass to the choices you make and the actions you undertake. Identifying them will help you to make decisions aligned with your life values.
4. Connect with your life priorities.
Aligned with number 3, connecting with your life priorities will help you find out what your next step should be.
Focusing on what is important right now will redirect you from other paths that take you away from the life you want to create and into a place where you feel grounded.
This can take time, but it ensures that you have a clear vision of what you need to do each day. It will reduce stress and can free up your mind.
5. Work on your goals
If you take the time to reflect on what your happiness depends on, it won't be too hard to do things that will drive you towards that.
Create goals that have a higher chance of success by making them SMART.
As a health coach this is my wheel house! Supporting my clients to create goals that will lead to the transformation they seek.
Looking to prioritize your health? Set up a call with me, and you'll have energy for days, feel calm and less stressed in no time and understand what lifestyle habits support the life you are looking to build!
6. Think about opportunities, not obstacles.
Seek out opportunities for your success and develop strategies to handle your failure. Think about how you will do something and the results will happen. After all, life is about enjoying it as much as possible.
Keep that focus on the journey, and you'll find that even stressful situations aren't so bad after all.
7. Have a meaningful conversation.
It's up to you to take care of your mental health and well-being. So always strive to have meaningful conversations with others.
Mental health is just as important as physical health, so make sure you're doing everything possible to protect it!
Here are some tips on how to have more positive conversations:
Listen intently. When someone is talking, really listen to what they're saying instead of thinking about what you will say next.
Ask questions. When someone shares their story with you, try asking them questions about it! This will show that you're interested in hearing more about what they experienced and how they feel about it.
8. Make peace with your device.
As you continue to use technology, it will continue to cause distraction. The point is not to eliminate them but to control them as you use them.
That's how you create more freedom on your terms instead of letting things distract you from what matters most.
9. Focus on the present moment.
I cannot stress enough how essential this skill is. By practicing mindfulness, you focus solely on what’s right here, right now.
What to do next?
Every day, you have the opportunity to train your mind. Mind training is a lot like cleaning the house—you must go through the steps often to remain on top of it.
Your mind is the battleground, and your awareness is your weapon. If you train it, it will become more organized and transparent.
If you want to incorporate mindfulness into your day, check out our article on 16 ways to sneak in mindful moments.
What do you think? Are you ready to try one or two of the options above to feel calmer today? Let me know which one in the comments ❤️
About the Author
Alexa Hanshaw is a health and stress management coach who helps women be the CEO of their stress. She empowers her clients to push past the confusion of the health and wellness industry to create lifestyle habits that bring them energy and work with their bodies instead of against it.
Join her free Facebook group, Be the CEO of Your Stress, and follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube for quick, easy & healthy tips on stress, health, fitness, nutrition, sleep, and how to stay mindful!